In todays society we rarely see car doors being opened, chairs being pulled out, women being “courted”, or even just simple manners while dating. When this behavior is caught in public, it is almost a distraction when seen. Like a distinct animal being caught in it’s natural habitat. A once in a life time sight.
There is a darker side to this argument however, which most people refuse to “go there”. There is so much negativity, hate, judgement and hippocratesy surrounding this topic that most shy away from sharing their true thought. I feel as though the fear is an equal balance between men and women, as men appear sexist, and women may come across as meek and incompetent.
Unfortunately, men carry most of the incredibly heavy weight of blame for the killing of chivalry.
Chivalry definition: the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
If we are expecting chivalry, or even just hopeful of it, what is our part as women in that? If we are saddened by the loss of effort in pulled out chairs, opened doors and courtship, shouldn’t we also be upset by our lack of domestic efforts, cleaning house and grooming ourselves? If we expect this old school, gentlemen behavior, shouldn’t we be expressing ourselves as ladies?
Women expect equal pay, but still collect child support? How is this equality? The most important question is, IS THIS WHAT EVERYONE PUSHED FOR? IS THIS, REALLY what extreme feminism is about, and if so, how is it going?
In my opinion, this is far from equal. Men are being blamed for not composing themselves as gentlemen while woman are half naked on social media, refuse to cook or clean their home, living out of wedlock, raising children without fathers and expect equal, everything. How is this equality? Why is this behavior something to be proud of? Is this really the direction we hoped to go?
If we(as women) are upset by the loss of their part in chivalry, why is it so appalling for men to expect a decent meal and a clean home? We expect them to check the oil in our cars or pump the gas, yet we are pushing for “equality” in the work force while living on child support or state aid. I do not know one single dad that gets child support or state aid for being a single father. I do not know any college grants for single dads. I DO know MANY men that WISH to pull out chairs for a woman, and receive the counterpart of that chivalry in return. I DO know many WOMEN who wish they had a gentleman to care for. Why are we fighting this so hard?
If a man request child support, alimony, or even unemployment, he is considered weak, a “loser” or unmotivated. If a woman, does the same, she is considered “doing it all” or empowered, independent, and ” does not NEED a man”. How is this EQUALITY?
I believe there is still a choice. I believe the very act of submission and respecting a man has zero to do with being “needy” or incapable but everything to do with CHOOSING to respect him, choosing our part of the “chivalry”. For heaven sakes, the very definition says readiness to “help the weak.” Ladies, WE ARE WEAK. We were made weaker. We were made to nurture and love. A night and shining armor cannot come “rescue” the weak, if we are fighting and flailing our arms the whole time.
Is this true of all women? No. Is this true of all men? No. I believe their are women out there who are stronger than some men. Do all women have to allow a man to “rescue” them. No. Do all women have to have a man in their life to support them? No. Can all women learn to change their own oil and open their own doors? Yes.
The point here, is not who is right or wrong, or strong enough to carry the groceries and drive a nail into the wall. This is about our WANTS, our desires and OUR part, as women in chivalry. We need to own our responsibility in that. With that, comes owning our responsibility in chivalry dying.
Their is a beautiful thing in a woman who is motivated, hard working but can express class, sophistication and honor the man in her life with a meal and some “thank you’s”. No man can open a door for you, if you do not ALLOW him to. We have forgotten about the power we have in letting someone care of us and being vulnerable, by choice. We are so focused on the POWER of doing it all on our own. I do not believe anyone said we couldn’t do it. Some how this victim, feminist mentality is on the rise yet so is divorce, single parents and loneliness.
WE ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF OPENING OUR OWN DOORS. The question is, do we want to? Being vulnerable to a man we love, is a gift to him and an amazing place for us. We have to take ownership in our part of the slow death in chivalry. That begins with respecting our bodies as a form of respecting him. That begins with allowing him to open doors, while expressing our gratitude. That begins with us, keeping his and our environment tidy, for him, as an expression of OUR chivalry first. That begins with showering. Yes, I said it. You can fight it all you want, but men are creatures of vision. Why do we fight this? It is scientifically proven. No one has to agree, and you can call me sexist, but for heaven sakes we have been given a gift of answers. We are born with longer lashes for a reason. Just as we expect him to carry in heavy boxes, or protect us during a tragedy, he also, would appreciate a shower and you getting our of sweat pants.
I EMPOWER you, females, to take your ownership of chivalry. I encourage you to use these tools of vulnerability, to work for the things you want while respecting the man you love in return. I encourage you to stand up to this victim feminist movement, and own your relationships through respecting of yourself, the men in your life and the wonderful blessings we were given. I encourage you to not blame the government, your ex, your sweatpants, or lack of equality for your less than desired life. Own it, say thank you, and lets bring our part of chivalry back, first.